DIARY OF A MIDDLE-AGED BRIDE - THE SERENDIPITOUS RE-CONNECTION



“It's a bizarre but wonderful feeling, to arrive dead center of a target you didn't even know you were aiming for.”

― Lois McMaster Bujold


Dear Diary, 


A single Facebook post one evening brought him back into my life with a bang. It was completely unexpected and delightfully welcome. 

I first met my now husband in 2004 at the audit and consulting firm where I was working. He was introduced to me along with other key service providers for the subsidiary I worked for. At the time, he was a Regional Sales Manager at one of the big hotel chains and was the organization's Key Account Manager. We worked a lot with this particular chain...you could almost say we literally lived there as aside from staff events, we would hold client training sessions there as well almost on a weekly basis. So we interacted with him a lot. 

My first impression of him was that he was a jovial, outgoing, detail oriented, well-mannered gentleman who was very keen on his work. He was also a great problem solver. Whenever someone on their end messed up, he sorted it out pronto. There was never any time that a booking he handled went wrong..at least not any significant issue. He was also really good at relationship management. At the time, we were the only Kenyan Corporate client he was handling with the rest being overseas. Despite his constant travelling, he always called on us whenever he was back and many times with a gift of snacks or cake. In a department that was filled with ladies, you can see why he became a darling...right?  One of the big events he handled very professionally for us was when we brought into Kenya leading leadership Guru Stephen R. Covey in 2006. Everything turned out so well and we were all very happy with the outcome.

Every time he came around, we would chat with him briefly as a team and if anyone had any issue that needed to be resolved, they would then bring it up. We knew that he was a family man and had children so every time he came around, we would also inquire about his family and he always updated us as his family grew over time. Our interactions were purely professional but I always remember feeling really happy whenever I saw him or heard his voice over the phone but I attributed that to "like & familiarity". It is this very same feeling, although much stronger now, that I get today when I see or speak to him. To say that he lights up my soul would be an understatement.

I can credit my first proper trip out of the country to him. I had previously been to Uganda a couple of times...but it always seemed like just around the corner. The flight was so short that there was never a moment to quite enjoy it. It was akin to flying to Mombasa. From my very first flight, I always knew that I loooved flying and I deeply desired to experience more and more of it. It was an exquisite feeling. Something about being above the cloudy, sometimes gloomy skies was exhilarating and I remember being astounded to find that above any cloudy, grey, angry looking sky, the sun was ALWAYS shinning. Every single day...whether we saw it or not. All we needed to do was rise above the grimness...and there it was. It is an analogy that I use often to remind myself of the presence of God and his never ending grace and mercy in our lives. He is always there...whether we can see him in our day to day lives or not. He is always there. We only need to rise above the problems and discouragements of our daily lives in order to access him. Remember this always whenever you are struggling. That scenery up there in the skies always makes me feel like I can literally see God. 

The trip came about in a surprising way. We had all been invited to attend an annual dinner held by the chain of hotels to thank their regular corporate clients. It was a fun, elegant, blitz-filled affair at one of their properties. My colleagues were all there too and we all enjoyed the evening together. At the end, prizes were to be awarded to the three top clients. The 2nd runner-up was to win a trip to Mombasa, 1st runner-up a trip to South Africa and the winner an all expense paid trip to Dubai. I was shocked beyond belief to hear my name called out as the 1st runner-up winner on behalf of the organization! It was completely unexpected and all I remember was seeing a lot of flashing lights as I received the prize. The following morning, my picture was in the paper too! Another first!  It turned out that my boss had been aware all along and had decided to allow my colleague and I to take it up. It was initially meant to be a prize for 2 but sadly ended up being for one. So I got to be the lucky one to take it up. I could FINALLY be on a flight that took longer than 45 minutes. I was apprehensive about travelling alone but I figured that I would just have to make do. In preparation, I asked all the questions I could about immigration and the dos and don'ts on a plane. I tried to learn as much as I could about Jo-burg as well. Thankfully, as an organization, we had quite a number of contacts there, mostly trainers and I reached out to a few of them. One of them offered to pick me up from the airport and even show me around. Any other questions I had were handled by my husband very professionally and with kindness even when I had silly questions to ask. He told me as much as he could about the hotel where I would be staying, how to save money on food (it was bed & breakfast) and many other tips. 

I had an amazing time during the visit. The South Africa trainer who picked me up was a great tour guide too so I got to see a good number of places. We had dinner with his wife and even went for a wine tasting festival. This can tell you for sure that the couple was white....no black South Africans would ever take you to a wine tasting festival. It's a very mzungu thing though this is not to say that other races do not appreciate fine wines. It was being held in Sandton, in one of the hotels there in a big huge conference hall. It was my very first time to be in a room predominantly filled with Caucasians. In a room with over 200 people, we were 3 blacks. So "white" was the room that I could pick out exactly where the other 2 blacks were at any one point. It was an open room with different wineries, vintners and brands having set up their tasting stations all over the room. So one would pick up a wine glass near the entrance and then move from station to another learning about the different wines, grapes, oenology processes etc which would then end with a tasting. A little bit of wine would be poured into your glass where one was expected to examine the "legs" of the wine, swirl, scent, colour etc. I am far from being a wine connoisseur so I was just there for the experience. Typically, one is supposed to eventually taste a smidgen of the wine and then spit it out. They even had little bins at each station for this. However, a good number of the less professional tasters would swallow the wine and then move on. The spitting is supposed to allow you to really savoir the wide array of wines in your palate properly as the intention is not to get drunk so the professional tasters were sure to do this. However, for the 3 of us (and many others), we were there for nothing but fun! I stayed close to my hosts as I was really on unfamiliar ground both in terms of the wine tasting and being in a room full of white people in a country that still had strong remnants of racism. Thankfully, I never experienced any direct racism this particular time but I highly suspect it was due to the fact that I was accompanied by their own. It would have been a different story otherwise. Needless to say, all three of us were a pretty tipsy & happy lot at the end of the evening and the driver almost forgot where we had parked the car. It was in one of those basement parking areas that is as confusing if not worse than Two Rivers! All in all, the whole experience was quite interesting and my husband checked on me a couple of times to make sure I was ok. My flight back home was pretty interesting. I happened to sit next to this Zambian national who lived in Kenya. We hit off so well that we spoke for the entire 5 hour flight back home and at the end of the flight, I was gifted a perfume that was clearly meant for someone else but hey....that was none of my business! We ended up being friends for the next few years and at one point, he was kind enough to employ my best friend even though he turned out to be a less than outstanding boss. As it turned out, this was a first of many trips to South Africa that would follow over time.

For the next few years, we continued to interact professionally with my husband until he opted to leave his then employer to a new chain. He then moved to Dar for sometime before coming back and working at Enashipai as part of the pre-opening team which was very successful. It was the rave in town and a magical wedding destination. To date, it still remains my dream wedding destination (hint hint). It was around this point that we lost touch as I then moved on to another organization. However, we became friends on Facebook and I would occasionally see his updates here and there. 



On 19th April 2018, I was fully into my "Self Love" zone and in a really happy place. In the spirit of this happiness with self, I decided to post my thoughts on my timeline. My post was simple and was something in the line of "The best person to date is.......................(many dashes later).......ME!" It was a basically an expression and celebration of self love, deep satisfaction and comfort I felt being in my own company. I was enough....more than enough to keep me happy. Despite not having spoken or seen each other for close to 10 years, he immediately responded and stated that he would love to join me on the date to keep away any likelihood of loneliness. It was a tongue-in-cheek response and got me smiling widely. Ladies and gentlemen....that was the beginning of the most wonderful journey of my life!  I can only attribute it to a beautiful act of pure Serendipity! 

Sincerely, 

The middle-aged bride 

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