DIARY OF A MIDDLE-AGED BRIDE: A SEASON OF LOVE





 “I waited for the seasons of love to pass from this cold winter to the summer heat I dreamed of.” 

― Shannon L.


Dear Diary,

How could I say no? The coy offer for a date from this nice gentleman that I had always known was graciously accepted. If for nothing else, I was curious to see him again after so long. After all, having company was always exciting even though I still enjoyed my own. I frequently enjoyed watching a movie alone (and still do were it not for Covid-19) and so I was not afraid of my own company. In fact, I greatly treasured those moments as it always gave me time to reflect and re-energize. It would be nice to have such a pleasant companion on this lone date I had boldly announced, as you will recall, a part of me was fond of the gentleman already though from a friendly distance.

Our first date was wonderful even though it was a bit awkward as would be expected. We hadn’t seen each other for about 8 years or more. Whilst there was more of me to love (hehehe), he had lost weight instead. For the previous 3 days prior to the date, we had spent hours catching up on phone. So long were our conversations that one night, we had actually talked till morning. I had never thought that was possible to converse for that long without tiring but one clearly only needs to connect with the right person. So deep and connected were these conversations that he had indicated that he wanted to get serious immediately. As it turned out, I had gotten into a roller-coaster without even knowing it! The best part about it was that it felt right…completely right! At the end of the first date, he had kissed me on the forehead and instantly ignited that little girl feeling. I felt so safe and secure in his arms...and from them on, I began to fall deeply in love with him.

The first date was quickly followed by a 2nd and a 3rd. It was this 3rd date that turned out to be even more special. After making dinner for me at his house, we were quietly having a drink and listening to music when he suddenly stood up…fiddled around looking for something and suddenly went down on his knee! The item he was fiddling around for was a rubber band which ended up being my engagement ring  before he got a better one. It may sound like it was pretty quick but remember, we knew each other previously so there was a sense of comfort that we were each not dealing with a stranger. It was the most simple, no frills or pomp, no witnesses yet extremely beautiful and precious moment of my life and I found myself saying yes even though I had not gotten round to thinking that far about our relationship. It felt right and I knew he was not going to let me down. I had been in love before but this time…it was different and solid. There was no pretense…we both knew what we wanted, what kind of a person we wanted and what kind of a marriage we would want to build. There was no second guessing.

Over the next few weeks, we arranged for lunch at his place for both our siblings so that we could both meet each other’s family. I remember him asking for my siblings numbers and calling each one of them individually. They had never met him before but struck off conversations so easily. He is such an easy person to like! He would introduce himself as “the man who is going to marry your sister”. It was really strange to hear that and at the same time so delightful! The party went on well and we than moved on to the next stage. Meeting the parents. All this happened within the span of 2 months.

Preparing to meet his parents was nerve wrecking. It then hit me that no one had ever done this with me properly. For Shane, the introduction was very haphazard and requested by his parents as opposed to the other way round. This time…it was all proper. He initiated everything and planned it out. My only task was picking out a dress to wear and preparing my “kiondo” (basket with food items) for his mum. His parents were warm and welcoming. It was a few days after Mother’s day so I bought a bouquet of flowers for his mum only to learn that she had been a florist all her life and therefore appreciated flowers more than I could imagine! That solidified our meeting...I had found a new mum. The visit was short enough to not be awkward and long enough to get to know each other better over a sumptuous meal. I was asked the standard questions one would expect and I was happy to explain where “my people” were from to ascertain that we were not relatives.

In another month’s time, it was time for him to meet my parents. This was also intended to be short and sweet but my mum being who she is....that became an impossibility. He had insisted that we would only have tea and I had informed my mum as much. So on arrival, I had gotten busy in the kitchen helping mum with the serving as he and dad got to know each other better. Mum had made her amazing pancakes, with deep friend ndomas (arrow roots) and tea. I went about serving both my dad and my husband-to-be. As soon as I was done, I went back to the kitchen and the site that met me was hilarious to say the least. Mum was busy making chapati flour! I asked her if was for their dinner to which she replied “Yes….the dinner we are all having together”. So much for a short visit! No amount of pleading would convince her that we would not have dinner. I subtly updated my husband on the new developments and I could see the shock in his eyes but being the diplomatic guy he is, he agreed (otherwise my mum would have killed him!) We were there from 3.00pm to 11.00pm that evening. As it turns out, my dad is a great storyteller (perhaps that’s where I get it from) and had kept him busy throughout with stories even I had never heard before. In the end, he was grilled a bit (just for good measure) on his intentions with their daughter before my mum prayed over us and both my parents blessed us. 

It was the best outcome on both sides. Gaining acceptance from both sets of parents and more importantly their blessings. And thus began our courtship journey to marriage. I had never felt more blessed and happy in my life. My season of love had FINALLY arrived! 

Sincerely,


The middle-aged bride

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