Herispeak

  It's been two weeks since Jacobi's birth and I am now more settled. I have finally come to accept that I am now a mother although I am still struggling with the new things that come with it. For starters, there are the physical changes plus the aches and pains of childbirth. Apparently, these aches don't just disappear after a few days. Some of them have lingered along but are thankfully getting better by the day. There is also the matter of how my body has changed from that of a supple, young woman...to that of a....hmm...well...that of a mum!  My tummy still looks like it's holding another Jacobi in there and my bossom is "full" for lack of a better word. So full that I feel like I might keel over if I bend forward too much. Full and heavy with milk. THEN...THEN there's that feeling when milk is checking in which is just the most weird thing! For the mum's out there...I know you KNOW what I am talking about. It's like a tap is opened somewhere

  JACOBI I could hear the shrill sound from a far...but for some reason, I couldn't quite figure out what it was. It was interrupting my dream....the dream where I was on a beach, sunbathing under a coconut tree whilst sipping on a pina colada with a little orange umbrella. That's the life...isn't it? I was just about to take a long sip out of my cool drink when the sound got even louder and I paused midair...still holding my cocktail glass.. to listen. It sounded familiar...and urgent....like I needed to respond to it immediately. I listened a bit more keenly, with my hand still suspended in the air, midway to my mouth. FINALLY...It dawned on me that it was simply the sound of a baby crying...My baby!  Wait a minute.....I have a baby....and it's crying. Abandoning my little holiday at the beach, I wake up to reality, a bit startled at the sound of this little human crying. It is our first night home together. I don't know what time it is,...only that it is an ungod

“Push….puuuush harder” I was pushing harder…why did it seem to her that I wasn’t? I was giving it all I had for heaven’s sake!!! “Just one more push…take a deep breath and push again” She was beginning to annoy me. It was as if she was telling me that I wasn’t doing a good job. Yet here I was giving it the push of my life. I was pushing so hard it felt as if all my insides would burst out through my “you-know-what”. Did I tell you about the pain? No? Allow me to. It was horrendous. If only women could get a sneak preview into what this kind of pain felt like…I think there are a good number of us who would run in the opposite direction and never have a baby. I am screaming…neigh…yelling the hell out of my lungs but it almost feels like am doing it in my head ….like the pain is too much that even a scream cannot do it justice. Finally, I feel it pop out. Sorry…him. HIM. I feel my baby come out of my insides in a sudden gash of fluids. Just like that…the awful, horrendous pain is gone. I

Dear Diary, It is hard to believe that it is a year since I became a middle-aged bride  (Laughs out loud) . It has been pretty eventful and I can breathe a sigh of relief. We made it! You see, it wasn't easy. I have always been under the impression that the first year of marriage is naturally the easiest...you know....filled with sunny lovey-dovey moments as you both skip into the sunset of a happily ever after future. Don't they even call it the honeymoon year? Honeymoon shmazimoon! That is not what not awaited me. Like I mentioned in The Ugly (see previous post), I had a difficult time adjusting to the move and so much to handle in other areas of my life that I just sunk deeply into this not-so-happy place. As I struggled to come out of it, an unexpected challenge one evening brought an end to that season. To help my son settle into our new home and cope with the changes, we had gotten him a puppy which he named Scott. Scott is a Havamalt (a mix between a Havanese and

  “It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.” ―  Philip K. Dick,  VALIS Dear Diary,  I woke up in a strange house yet it was home. My new home. The sad thing was...I wanted my old home, I dreamt vividly of my old home, I wanted so badly to turn back the clock of time.  It wasn't' supposed to feel this way. Where was the romance? The skipping away into the sunset hands tightly held together? The picnics in the breathtaking meadows of life filled with a zillion daisies and clear blue skies? Where was the damn honeymoon? I deserved that at the very least...a few idyllic days of nothingness, lovemaking and amazing food? The happily ever after dreamy fairy-tale was nowhere to be found.  It was days after my traditional ruracio (dowry) ceremony. It had been a tough month with all the planning involved. For starters, it had come as a surprise to me. I knew that we were heading in that direction but my husband had always talked about 2022 which sounded too far a

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow  - this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.” ―  Elizabeth Gilbert Dear Diary,  Hair maybe a small matter to some whilst to others, it is a big matter...in all manners of speaking and literally too! I belong to the latter group where not only is hair a big issue to me, it is also BIG. I am a big hair enthusiast...neigh...BIG HAIR LOVER.  There are a lot of celebrities who have had or carried very distinct hair. It is one of the reasons why they stand out. James Brown, Dolly Patton, Oprah Winfrey, Cher, Marilyn Monroe, Michael Jackson, Jennifer Aniston (famous for "the Jennifer" haircut), Grace Jones, Diana Ross, Jill Scott, Haile Berry, Elvis Presley, Tina Turner, Jan Crouch (wife to TBN founder who loved pink, big hair). The list is endless. Out of all of the above...I have always admired Oprah's and Jill Scott's hair the most.  Secretly, I wish I could pull off a Tina Turner look....one fine day.

Dear Diary, For the longest time, I have  been the kind of person who deals with problems or challenges in a particular way. My style can be a bit of a put off to some people but also very effective. I hate allowing situations to get out of control even though I am certainly guilty of that a couple of times for sure. As much as I can, I am not the kind of person who allows a situation to fester and prolong if I can help it. I also learnt from my former boss that there is always a way out of a situation if you address it in the right way. So when faced with a difficult issue, my approach is:_ 1. Deal with it immediately before it escalates or mutates into something else 2. Find a solution  3. Do whatever it takes to get to number 2 One particular example I will never forget was when my boss had applied for a particular executive programme and her application was rejected on no grounds at all. Instead of taking it lying down, she had appealed the decision in a