Herispeak

Dear Diary, A tête-à-tête with God was nigh. I needed to hear directly from him and get my answers on my dating life. Things were all nice and dandy...I wasn't complaining as such. Self love and discovery was a fun and beautiful process. I had began to have a life again and go out on dates. It is not until I was out there..that I realised how I had isolated myself in the early years after having my son. It was work, school, home, mummy duties, repeat. I barely had any social life with the exception of my chama which was wonderful but lets face it...none of my chama girls were going to marry me no matter how long I hang out with them! Some of the dates were good..some were weird, others were just bad. I was happy either way as it was a learning process rearticulating to myself what kind of a man I wanted in my life. And what kind of a man I DIDN'T want too! Then came a phase where only married men were interested in me. It was very frustrating! The Law of Attraction came

"If you are looking for that one person that will change your life, look into the Mirror"  - Unknown  Dear Diary, It was over. I could finally see the light at the end of the tunnel and it was not an oncoming train. The whole experience with Shane made me realise that I was selling myself short. More so, it exposed my weaknesses to me in full glare. I previously knew that there were some areas I needed to work on but I did not initially have an idea how deep they ran or even how to fix them. One of the big  steps I had to take towards healing was avoiding confrontations with Shane in all forms. I had to learn to interact with him peacefully despite the burning fire I felt inside of me. An anger that would stay inside for only so long before it would bubble to the surface. I had to push it all down for the sake of peace.  In the early days, he was present in every way which I appreciated as I did need his help. He took us to all the clinic or hospital visi

Dear diary, A whirlwind takes you places. Places you have never been. Places you would rather not go to...nor would ever want to be. Places you have not planned to be. You reach you destination torn up into many pieces. Torn apart by the incredulous journey that you have just completed yet never willingly signed up for...looking like you have just checked in from the dusty plains of Rongai or Kitengela. The dust overwhelms you and you have no sense of how you got carried away by the whirlwind...why you were unable to get out and away from it. Welcome to part 2 of the Whirlwind. In case you missed out on part 1 of the story, please catch up here.  Reading the message was shocking. It woke me up to seeing exactly who I was dealing with.  It was one of those that left nothing to the imagination on the topic of discussion. It was not a discussion about whether to drink a cup of tea or not. It was confirmation that the cup of tea had been drunk and would be drunk again.

To really ask is to open the door to the whirlwind. The answer may annihilate the question and the questioner. Anne Rice Dear Diary, I asked to be loved...wanted to be loved. I was knocked down instead..so hard that it took me the next five years of my life to properly stand again. But when I stood...I stood up stronger, better, more resilient. I was no longer the same woman that had gone into the whirlwind.  When I first laid my eyes on him, my heart skipped a bit..like it really did and I thought to myself "If God had asked me what my perfect man should look like, this is it..THIS IS HIM". If only looks made the person. Don't get me wrong. He is a nice guy....he became a nice guy for the next woman but not for me. I respect him a lot and we share a wonderful, beautiful creation in the form of a 12 year old boy. A boy as unique and as eclectic as they come...a gem. He has mild-autism and that is what makes him exceptionally legendary! I am