WHEN GETTING IT RIGHT IS HARD



No one loves making mistakes. No one loves repeating the same mistake twice. No one loves repeating the same mistake again...and again...and again.


It's a bit shameful...and I should know. Over the past few years I have done exactly that. Each time, I promised myself to do better and for a while, it would work but then like a never ending nightmare...I would find myself in the same place again. At first...I beat myself up for it. "Why can't you get it right? Wasn't the pain the first time...bad enough?" It wasn't anything complicated really....just a relationship that I shouldn't have been in. When we love....it is supposed to be all wonderful, filled with a zest of happy moments....yada yada yada...isn't it? And though no relationship is perfect...one shouldn't go through excruciating amounts of pain. So everything would be nice and dandy until the good ole monster would rare it's head and all hell would break loose. And we would break up....then get back together again and the cycle would begin once more. When things were bad....they were really bad but when things were good...it was heavenly.


I kept wondering whether there was something I needed to learn and I wasn't thus the repeat cycle. Eventually...I gave in to it all. And I think a part of me began to get used to the pain. It became a familiar friend.."hey there....I know you. Welcome back".


Now all that is in the past. And I even dated again after that but it was the most boring relationship ever. It was so boring that it made the pain of the past look good! Hahaha....now that's a shame...isn't it.


Heriponder - As I look back at the struggle of getting it right, the lesson that most stands out for me is this. Be patient with yourself. It IS human to fail. It is human to fail again. And again. You only need to ensure ONE thing. That you are conscious of your situation, why you need to get out of it and are making the effort to get out of it everyday. Okay...that's three things, but you get my point?


Be gentle with yourself even in your failings....especially in your failings.


- Herispeak

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