DID I HEAR RIGHT


Ever embarked on a project ...a mission not of your own making or for own benefit? A mission that if achieved would impact generations to come? And in starting this mission...you felt compelled by a higher calling? Then midway through this mission...you began to wonder if you had heard right in the first place and whether instead of hearing from God....you had listened to an invasion of strange voices in your head?


I started off such a mission last year. This was after many years of feeling compelled to do something about it. I distinctly remember one time...about 3 years ago...waking up in the middle of the night...my mind ablaze about this project. There and then....I had prepared a presentation about it but for the remaining part of that year...and the next..and the next...nothing happened. I took no action, not even when someone...an authority figure...brought it up with me. Then come 2017...and the same person brings up the issue again. All this time, I thought someone would take up the mission. I did not have to be the one to do it...anyone of up to 12,000 individuals would have done it. So why me? Why bother? Why not continue to sit in the sidelines? Why not discard the presentation?


The thoughts and ideas began to weigh me down...and I began to feel more and more compelled to do it. It would involve bringing together a large group of people. In this period of time, I brought smaller groups of people together....a group of cousins and family friends, another group of cousins and former classmates. In these groups, I found myself playing the role of coordinator which I had no problem doing since I am a middle child after all! Eventually, I made the step to start on the bigger mission but after strongly feeling and "hearing" God compelling me to so.


Things started off well...and as time went on...I truly believed it was the right thing to do and that all would go well. The good will to do it was clearly there..the resources though scarce could be mobilized and impact on the right people was clearly feasible. Till an ugly monster reared it's head. Things became a tad difficult and even messy. Personally, I detest conflict or any situation where there is a play for power and control. Yet here I was smack in the middle of one.


In the past few weeks...I have asked myself these questions:-


Can I walk away without looking like am giving up and without hurting anyone?


Should I put my reputation and my name on the line?


Did I hear God correctly?


Do I have the right leadership skills to take this mission to it's conclusion?


Am I mad to do this?


Should I let down all the people I have rallied to put their time, resources, ideas and even love into this mission?


Should I give up?


SHOULD I GIVE UP? SHOULD I?


Heriponder - A mission has a general...or commander-in-chief. That is always the best place to go back to. What says the general? In my case...what says God? Are we still on course or have we lost our true north and veered off the main target for the mission? Is this difficulty or hurdle part of the process? What do I need to learn? Or un-learn? Can we still get to the goal...cos there is one...that's for sure.


I don't have answers for myself. All I know is that I need to pray. And pray shall I..


Have you gone thorough a similar situation? How did you handle it? I would love to hear from you in the comment section.


Adiós.


- Herispeak

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

PROJECT FOXY: Awakening the Giant

Image
The giant is me and no other.  For years, I have done one thing successfully….year in and year out. I have added more and more weight to my frame. Compared to my former self…I am indeed a giant. I know precisely when it started. I know precisely why it started. It is not a complex reason or one that is even justifiable.  I met and started dating this guy in 2001. His name was John and when I fell in love with him…I fell HARD. We met at an IT Conference. He was one of the panelist and I remember spending most of the time staring at him. When the conference was over, I walked up to him and asked him a question that could have been answered by any other panelist. In fact, he even referred me to someone else. It didn’t matter though…I walked out with a smile having told him where I worked and exchanged email addresses. Those were the good old days of Yahoo Chat. The following day, I got an invitation to add him as a friend. As they say, the rest is history. I learnt later...
Read more

Wacu

She stared out of the window, with tears running down her face. Oblivious to the stares from other passengers in the No. 46 City Hoppa from Kawangware, she was lost in her own thoughts….in her own pain.  Her rural home in Nyeri seemed so far away. She felt misplaced in this big city of Nairobi. This thought immediately reminded her of her parents. If only they were alive. The HIV virus took both of them years ago. Wacu barely remembered her mother. She had a vague memory of her and her maternal grandmother had brought her up since she had been only 5 years old when her mother died. Wacu’s other siblings had remained with her paternal grandparents. Luckily, they had lived only half an hour apart from each other and had gotten to see each other often. Nderitu now lived and worked in Mombasa. Whilst Mumbi was now married and a stay at home mum. She and her family of 4 lived in Nyeri.   Of her father, there was nothing. It is as if he had never existed. This was underst...
Read more

A LEGEND BREWING

When I first met this little boy, I introduced myself as the woman he would never be able to get rid off for the rest of his life and then I said hello. He opened his eyes really wide and pursed his lips together. I burst out in laughter for I often did this! It was my signature move. “Now that’s my son!”I happily thought. Levi is now 4. I must say it's been a crazy journey. He is hyper, curious, extremely “destructive” but also one of the most intelligent kids I have ever met. Here are some of his adventures. At 2 years, he attempted to milk a cow by himself. Yes, he got the cow into the milking shed! Conquered “child proof” caps severally and consequently landed in hospital. NO, am not a careless mother, he is just a very special, intuitive childJ Frequently “Undresses” remotes by eating all the buttons Has taken 9 BP tablets AND lived to tell the story (or rather lived to allow me to tell the story) Accidentally drank paraffin consequently r...
Read more

POWERFUL WAYS TO USE YOUR NO!

Image
POWERFUL WAYS TO USE YOUR NO! NO! Granted...No is not the easiest word to say for some people because it has always been associated with a lot of negativity. But we know deep down that isn't the truth. NO is one of the most powerful words in our vocabulary! Here are some powerful ways to use your NO. - Say NO to timewasters. These are things that you do but really do not add much value in your life. It could be too much time on Social media or watching Netflix, going out clubbing excessively or too much gossiping with your girls (a little never hurt anyone ). It could also be spending less time with people who add NO value or worth to our lives. Instead, you can look at replacing such activities with learning something new. E.g. crocheting, a new recipe, a new sport or simply spending more time where it is valued and will have a higher return like with your children. - Say NO to negative energy, thoughts and vibes. Evaluate the people and situations in your life and just share no t...
Read more

Down River Road - Part I

Approximately 30 minutes after he had been released from the Industrial Area remand prison, Nixon is seated at the bus stop. Aimlessly watching both the human and motor traffic pass by. "It is a busy stage this one", he thought. He kept glancing at his watch as he restlessly waited for his dad's matatu on this route to come by. It is his only choice of transport since he does not have a coin on him. Nixon's dad is a local tycon, owning a fleet of matatu's on several routes, several real estate properties and a plush home in Muthaiga. Looking at Nixon, one would never tell. He is rough looking, with a cleanly shaved head, free of charge as provided by the Prison Warders at Industrial Area. He has on a grey t-shirt with streaks of dirt on it. His black trousers are worn and dirty too. On his feet, are a pair of bata slippers that have definitely seen better days. His hands were "stained"...the kind of hands that look dirty all the time...
Read more