Herispeak

In nothingness, we thrive There is neither ache nor conflict In the midst of the quiet, abundance reigns Peace bears its children and raises them be We weed out the thistles and let the blossoms reign Indeed the garden blooms with beauty and splendour Our souls are renewed and revived, alive we are! We speak not for we must not For silence befits us - Herispeak

Beholders of my truth, bearers of my deepest secrets Oh my gatekeepers of valor...Protect me from the snares of strangers, And the hunger of those who seek to know my deepest desires and thoughts Beholders of my truth, be strong! Guard me from the intrusive stares, from the curiosity of the masses Keep them at bay, for my secrets must die with me He looks deep into you, taunting you to be feeble Daring you to be vulnerable and naked Beholders of my truth, be strong! He is here for a while, whilst you and I are bound forever Shall you betray me to this stranger? Shall you bestow it all to this wayward passer-by? Keep him at bay, for my secrets must die with me They come seeking for petty gossip, for an opportunity to snicker here and there Coercing you to tell it all and to disgrace your loved ones Beholders of my truth, be strong! They mean us harm and only pretend to be our defenders They turned their backs against us and gave us up to be slaughtered Keep them at bay, for my secrets m...

Let it not be. That like can be called love That knowing someone can be equated to true friendship That a need can become a reason That help can be breed obligation That admiration must turn into desire That enthusiasm can be termed as passion That being thankful should transcend into praise That in seeking freedom we would be bound instead Let not be that we should do that which we ought not to; because we misunderstood ourselves and allowed others to direct our beings Let it not be. - Herispeak

No one loves making mistakes. No one loves repeating the same mistake twice. No one loves repeating the same mistake again...and again...and again. It's a bit shameful...and I should know. Over the past few years I have done exactly that. Each time, I promised myself to do better and for a while, it would work but then like a never ending nightmare...I would find myself in the same place again. At first...I beat myself up for it. "Why can't you get it right? Wasn't the pain the first time...bad enough?" It wasn't anything complicated really....just a relationship that I shouldn't have been in. When we love....it is supposed to be all wonderful, filled with a zest of happy moments....yada yada yada...isn't it? And though no relationship is perfect...one shouldn't go through excruciating amounts of pain. So everything would be nice and dandy until the good ole monster would rare it's head and all hell would break loose. And we would break up....t...

Ever embarked on a project ...a mission not of your own making or for own benefit? A mission that if achieved would impact generations to come? And in starting this mission...you felt compelled by a higher calling? Then midway through this mission...you began to wonder if you had heard right in the first place and whether instead of hearing from God....you had listened to an invasion of strange voices in your head? I started off such a mission last year. This was after many years of feeling compelled to do something about it. I distinctly remember one time...about 3 years ago...waking up in the middle of the night...my mind ablaze about this project. There and then....I had prepared a presentation about it but for the remaining part of that year...and the next..and the next...nothing happened. I took no action, not even when someone...an authority figure...brought it up with me. Then come 2017...and the same person brings up the issue again. All this time, I thought someone would take ...

Last year...right about this time, I lost someone dear to me to suicide. It happened one random Sunday morning. In the true character of death...none of us saw it coming. It was like a sudden rainstorm..only it wasn't regular rain but a blood storm that pelleted us all hard..and there was no where to hide. I hadn't realised how much I loved this person. The loss was deep and cruel. The pain gnawed at every part of my being. And for a minute there, my soul drowned in the bloodbath. Suicide is like an annoying questionnaire with no end and no answers but which you must complete. There are no options to skip certain questions or write "no comment". I could not even begin to fathom how much more difficult it was for the immediate family. I woke up each morning with a sense of brokenness and helplessness. I could not have done much to help...but I could have whispered.." I love you. You matter to me. Your life counts". I don't think it would have m...

Child of guilt...you surprised me so Taken aback, I chose cowardice instead of bravery I cowed under the shame and weight of responsibility I begged you to let me be...to allow me to return home And you let me Yet I cried for you...I mourned and wept as I had loved you despite You were a gentleman....I real man of valor and honour I curtsy deep for you made me proud Though guilt eats away at my soul, I remember you with pride Child of joy....my soul recognized you before my heart did You came as if you belonged, though left so soon Without a care nor thought you escaped me I thought I wouldn't care but my tears spoke for me Like a fleeting murmur that was, yet so still In a moment of quiet...you whispered your name And I smile for I knew you to be true Child of light....you stole your way into my life Like a thing that had to be, there was no denying you A new beginning you birthed, amidst the doubts and fears I fought for you....I pushed for you...I broke for you And with you came...

One day your roots will go deep and strong One day you will rise tall and proud One day your branches will stretch wide and free One day you will all sway in the wind yet remain firm and rooted One day you will give back the breath that was stolen from you One day you will reign in your fullness..towering high in the skies. Grow strong. Grow brave. Grow bright. Grow for all time! ~ Herispeak

About seven years ago, I lost a friend. No, they didn't die. They just left me...completely disappeared from my life without a word of goodbye or an inkling as to why they had left. It was not easy for me. This person had become a part of my life....a cornerstone even. We had known each other for years. We had been through a failed relationship and then many years of developing a beautiful friendship that was as sold as an oak!. Or so I thought. He was the last person I expected to "abandon" me like that. In my mind, I knew without a doubt that this person would be part of my life for many years to come. Our friendship had me believing strongly in platonic relationships between men and women. It could work...it seemed. We would have families, bring our children up to be good men and women of society, see each other grow old and grey whilst laughing about the former years...the years of our youth and the silly things we did. Oh! How fallacious the mind can be. My mind shou...